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Managing grief: What can I do for myself?

Managing grief: What can I do for myself?

Bereaved teenagers tell us what helped them after the death of their special person – some of these might also help you.  

“Knowing what has happened so that I can talk about it with friends.” 

This might mean that you want to ask questions about how your special person died – you could ask a trusted adult or medical staff. It’s ok to ask questions to help you understand and it’s ok to just ask a few questions now and then more later on if needed.

“It’s ok to have fun. It was hard at first because I felt guilty if I started laughing at something. But it felt really good when I started playing football again and going to parties. It doesn’t mean I’ll ever forget my brother.”  

Young people have told us that grieving means having up and down days and it is normal to have both of these. ‘Up’ days might be those when you can have fun and feel more peaceful and ‘down’ days might be those that feel more sad and painful.

“Meeting others who have also had someone die – I felt very different when I went back to school after Dad’s suicide – no one else knew what this was like and they looked at me differently.”  

Young people have told us that meeting other people who have experienced the death of a special person can be really helpful. Sometimes it’s good to talk to people who have been through something similar or just listen to their stories. You can contact us to see if we can put you in touch with local organisations that may offer this opportunity near you.

“It helped me to learn more about why Dad died – from a heart attack. I thought it would happen to me as well but now I know what to do to have a healthy heart.”  

Unanswered questions and gaps in what we know can be really confusing and scary. Some young people like to know the facts to feel more informed. Make sure you are getting facts from someone you can trust, rather than just Googling things.

“Mum died when I was quite young and I used to think I was forgetting her. When I talked to Gran and my dad and we put things of Mum’s together in a memory box and it felt much better.”  

Young people often say that finding a way to remember a special person really helps. There are lots of ways you can do this.

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