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Tom: There’s no right or wrong way to feel on Father’s Day

Tom: There’s no right or wrong way to feel on Father’s Day

My name is Tom and I’m 16 years old. When I was 14, my dad died from Myeloma, a cancer that affects the blood and bones.

My dad died just a month before Father’s Day so the first one without him was very difficult. I just couldn’t believe that he wasn’t going to be with me on Father’s Day and it was hard watching other children and friends with their fathers. I remember going out for lunch with my mum and sister and being the only people in the restaurant without a dad with us.

This will be my third Father’s Day without my dad and I remember all the amazing things about him and feel close to him on that day. I have a memory candle that I light on Father’s Day and I look through my memory box. I have a lot of photos and special things that help me remember him.

On Father’s Day, I have a mixture of feelings, part sadness and part happiness remembering him. It is important to just go with whatever feelings come up on the day, whether that is sadness or happiness. There is no right or wrong way to feel and every year is different.

Tom when he was a young child being carried by his dad

Grief is always there but it becomes smaller

My dad and I were very close. We spent a lot of time together, just the two of us. He would take me camping, play cricket with me and was very supportive in every aspect of my life. We would always spend Father’s Day together, we would watch films and spend time together relaxing. Sometimes, we would go out for lunch together.

He was a psychotherapist and dedicated his life to helping others. He was a very kind and thoughtful man who had a close group of friends who have been very supportive to me since he died. They have told me lots of wonderful stories about him which I love listening to and learning more about him.

I remember in my counselling with Winston’s Wish, talking about how grief is always there but it becomes smaller and the other things in your life slowly become bigger. I always think about that and it helps me to cope with any difficult feelings.

Read more

Ashleigh: My first Father’s Day without my dad

Emily: Grieving for my dad on Father’s Day