Remembering my mum

Remembering my mum

On Mother’s Day, Nash tells her story and how she remembers her mum on Mother’s Day.

1. Can you tell us a bit about your mum?

My mum was a housewife, due to our culture, it was expected that women stayed at home and looked after the children. She made the house such a welcoming place, there was always people around – both friends and family from near or afar, which was no surprise because she was a very social person and had a bright personality. This also meant she was around a lot and I was incredibly close to her. Unfortunately, she died from breast cancer when I was 15 years old and both the people stopped visiting, and the house felt less welcoming. A month later, I reached out to Winston’s Wish in the form of the helpline which gave me the push I needed to successfully pass my GCSEs and pursue further study.

2. How do you find Mother’s Day?

It’s difficult. Everyone is talking about seeing their mum, what they need to get their mum or the fact that it is Mother’s Day soon. Some complain about it, some don’t. I’m not sure which one makes me feel worse. It is advertised everywhere so there isn’t much you can do to avoid it, it’s like a constant reminder in your face of what you’ve lost. However, it’s bittersweet because it also gives the opportunity to remember the good times and the fond memories.

3. What are some of the things you do to remember your mum on Mother’s Day?

I do something that I know she liked to do. It can be something as small as eating a bit too much chocolate cake – my mum had a major sweet tooth, or going for long walks in the park, something we used to do together.

4. What advice would you give any bereaved child or young person who are experiencing their first Mother’s Day without their mum?

However you feel on that day, there is no right or wrong. Likewise, whatever you decide to do on that day, there isn’t really a right or wrong. I know for me personally, especially when I was still processing my grief, when I thought about my mum I could only think of the bad memories seeped with regret. The best advice I can give is to not bottle up your feelings and not isolate yourself on that day. If there’s something that you always used to do on Mother’s Day, you should still do it, but in her memory and you’ll find it comforting to remember her. Spending time with family is also important, although they won’t know exactly what you’re feeling, it’s nice to be around people who knew you mum. Talk about everything and anything, but it is also ok to take some time to be alone. Crying is good, not crying is also good. But most importantly, just take a chance to truly remember them and the fantastic life they lead, because although you’re grieving, you don’t actually take a lot of time to reflect on them in a positive light.

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