Winston’s Wish puts young people at the centre, and we’ve asked you to contribute motivational messages to your peers. Our own Youth Team, the Student Grief Network, and the NCS Young Writers’ Club have all come together to send you some inspiration and positivity this Christmas season. We hope this brings you some reassurance that there are other people out there who have found Christmas more difficult too, and many that still do even years after their grief journey started.
I know that Christmas can be hard without your loved one, but it will be alright. You could talk about your memories with your loved one to cheer yourself up <3
Annie, 13, Winston’s Wish Youth Team
Don’t worry about the bigger picture – small steps are all you need right now.
Anon, Student Grief Network
Can you create a new tradition to remember the person or people you have lost?
Anon, Student Grief Network
During Christmas we can feel a deep sense of sadness as we struggle to find the balance of celebrating this joyful time of year and grieving our loved ones.
I just want to say that it’s ok to feel happy and celebrate Christmas without your loved one, it doesn’t mean you don’t miss or love them any less. It just means that you’re allowing yourself happiness after a period of intense grief.
Christmas doesn’t have to be something you dread after losing a loved one, you could incorporate something special like lighting a candle for the day in memory of their presence and remember they are with you.
Have a lovely Christmas, you’re not alone :)
Darcey, 17, Winston’s Wish Youth Team
Every day is an opportunity to cherish your fond memories and continue to make everyone proud.
Benedict, Winston’s Wish Youth Team
Seeing all the festivities can be infuriating when you’re grieving. Find a way to let that anger out – rant to someone, write down everything that makes you mad… or punch a pillow.
Anon, Student Grief Network
It’s ok to be kind to yourself in the festive season, set boundaries and say no to things which don’t make you feel good.
Molly, Winston’s Wish Youth Team
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Christmas can feel like a lonely time when you’ve lost somebody, and the entire world seems to be singing and dancing about family and friends and spending time with people. Make sure that you prioritise yourself at Christmas time – it’s not being a grinch to need some alone time to reflect on your feelings and have a cry, and it’s not wrong to enjoy yourself and let loose and just forget a little about what’s happened. If your person had special traditions at Christmas, continue them in honour of their memory, or create new ones to mark new beginnings. Christmas can still be a happy time even when somebody special is missing.
Maya, Winston’s Wish Youth Team
You don’t have to feel guilty if you do feel excited or happy that it’s Christmas, it’s ok to enjoy yourself, grief and happiness can go hand in hand.
Molly, Winston’s Wish Youth Team
“I have been bent and broken but – I hope – into better shape.” (a favourite quote)
Anon, Student Grief Network
Grief feels like a never-ending tunnel at times, but the thing with a tunnel, is that you have to get through it. A little like the book ‘We’re going on a bear hunt’- you cannot go over it, nor under it- you have to go through it, no matter how dark and scary it may become… Everyone’s tunnel goes on for different lengths, so try not to compare yours to others.
Just please remember, you will reach the sunny side soon.
Take care all.
Brooke, Winston’s Wish Youth Team
A Christmas without someone is a different Christmas and different can be really scary sometimes. Often, the biggest and most significant way that you can look after yourself on the 25th itself is to acknowledge that fear and recognise that it may be a really hard, emotional day. Allow yourself to feel that. I try to just roll with the emotions in whatever order they come in – grief, sadness, joy, guilt, laughter, all of the above and see it as just another day.
Natalia, NCS Young Writers’ Club
“What is grief if not love persevering?” (a favourite quote)
Anon, Student Grief Network
Grief is like the ocean. It can come and go in waves, sometimes calm and other times overwhelming. Just keep swimming. You are incredible and you’ve made it through so much already. Making it through another day means you’re closer to shore, so just keep swimming.
Evie, Winston’s Wish Youth Team
“They haven’t invented the words” (a favourite quote)
Anon, Student Grief Network
One of the things I always find really helps is doing things you would do with that person at this time of year.
The one that’s coming to mind right now is – me and my dad would’ve watched Die Hard, so that one’s definitely coming out.
Conor, Winston’s Wish Youth Team
Thank you to all the young people from the Winston’s Wish Youth Team and beyond for sending in your motivational messages for other young grieving people this Christmas. We hope these bring you some comfort in knowing that you’re not alone if you’re experiencing grief and a mix of emotions during this time of year.
Get help
Winston’s Wish are here to help! We offer one-to-one and group grief support sessions. We also have lots of online resources and a Helpline, email and live chat service where you can talk to bereavement professionals. You can call us on 08088 020 021 (open 8am-8pm, Monday to Friday), email ask@winstonswish.org or use our live chat (open 3-8pm, Monday to Friday) and find out more on our Get Support page.
If you need urgent support in a crisis, you can contact the 24/7 Winston’s Wish Crisis Messenger by texting WW to 85258.